Wave Technology Strips Airport Patrons Naked

The TSA is testing new passive millimeter wave technology that scans people in airport terminals outside the boarding security zone.  Similar to the whole-body imaging machines slated to replace metal detectors at checkpoints, this portable tripod- mounted device can detect explosives, guns and other objects that alter the energy signature emitted by your body.  While not as sensitive as the walk-through checkpoint model that displays the belly mole your mother thought was so cute, these rapid deployment versions were successfully tested at airports during last summer’s Democratic and Republican national conventions.  Unfortunately, the TSA refuses to define the term “success”.  So think pleasant thoughts and radiate positive energy the next time your flight is delayed.  Giving off negative vibes may not only bring bad Karma, but get you noticed by the TSA!